Remembering Christmas Past and Present

This was a strange Christmas – not being able to go shopping for presents and not having the family gathered around the table for dinner.  Thinking about it reminded me of another strange Christmas.

 

The year was 1985.  My husband Pat had died a few months earlier and I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas without him.  I certainly didn’t feel like shopping and we didn’t have any money for Christmas presents anyway, as were drowning in hospital bills 

But it turned out to be a beautiful Christmas!  

I made our usual turkey dinner; mostly for the sake of my 6 children.  They got creative and went thru their closets and found items to wrap and give as “recycled” presents – including a puzzle with one piece missing – which became a popular recycled gift for many Christmases.

After dinner we gathered around the tree.  I don’t remember where or how we got the tree, or exactly what it looked like – except for the star on top, leaning precariously to one side.  But I do remember the beautiful feeling; the soft glow of lights, the warmth, and the love that prevailed.  I think we all knew that Pat’s spirit was still with us – not just in memory, but in the way we felt his love, and sensed his joy, remembering his deep faith in God and belief in the true meaning of Christmas. 

Fast forward to 2020 – which, surprisingly, turned out to be another beautiful Christmas!

My husband Jim and I have been married now for 27 years and our combined 7 children and 13 grandchildren are spread out across the country; but thanks to phone and facetime we were able to share a little bit of the day with each of them.  Since we weren’t going to stores, I brought back the tradition of “recycled” presents and sent each of them books or other items that they remembered from the past. 

Fortunately, one or our sons lives only an hour away, so on Christmas morning we drove our camper over to their house.  He had set up a fire pit in the driveway and my daughter-in-law made a delicious Crème Brulee French toast breakfast which we all enjoyed while maintaining a safe distance around the fire.  As we were exchanging presents, big snow flakes started to fall and it seemed like a scene from a Christmas movie. 

That evening I made our traditional Christmas dinner, even though it was just for Jim and myself.  We sat there in the glow of our Christmas tree lights (with that same star on top) grateful for our life together, for our families, for all of our memories.  

Yes, it was a beautiful Christmas because, even from a distance, we shared the love of family - and remembered God's message of love and peace and hope which is the true meaning of Christmas!  

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Special Day For Me

 Departing from my reflections on Advent, I wanted to share a memory with you.

 

70 years ago today I was in the 5^th grade at St. John’s School in White Plains.  It was my first year in a Catholic school and I was still getting used to the rituals and discipline – and the “habits” worn by our teachers, the Sisters of Charity.  To a child those long black robes made them look a little more than scary.

 

My teacher, Sister Winiferd was especially fearsome.  We thought she was “older than God” though in reality she was probably younger than I am now, but she was definitely too old to know anything about what it meant to be living in the world of an almost 11-year-old girl.

 

I had been warned by the other students to “stay low and don’t do anything to draw her attention”.  But on this particular day, December 13^th, after morning prayers, Sister Winiferd looked straight at me and said “Lucy McMahon, please come up to my desk.”

 

With knees shaking and hands trembling I made my way up the aisle to her desk.  She was even more terrifying up close. Her long robes flowed over her chair onto the floor and the crucifix, from the rosary beads she wore around her formidable waist, dangled dangerously at her side.  A few wisps of white hair escaped the bonnet that the Sisters of Charity wore and, as I stood there quivering, I detected several matching sprigs of hair growing out of her chin. 

 

Wait, was that a smile? 

 

“Do you know what today is?” Sister asked.  I shook my head, afraid to speak.  “Today is a very special day for you,” she explained.  “Today is the feast of St. Lucy.  

 

With a kindly smile, she handed me a holy card and went on to explain that St. Lucy was a beautiful young girl in the days of the early church.  The Romans who were persecuting the church tried to make her disobey God’s law, but she refused, sacrificing her life for her love of God and for what she knew to be right.

 

“You should always be proud of your name,” Sister told me, “And always be true to what you believe.”  

 

To this day I gratefully remember her words, her encouragement and her kindness, and I am reminded that we cannot judge anyone by how they look or what they wear.   

 

And I am proud of my name!

 

 

 

 

Advent Thoughts Continued

  

Advent rushes along.  Christmas comes closer.  We bought our tree from the volunteer fire department.  I work on a family calendar to send as a Christmas present to our children.  But it doesn’t “feel” like Christmas.  

 

Maybe it’s because the weather is so mild – having spent most of my life with New York or mid-west Christmases.  Or maybe it’s because my head is not filled with Christmas music this year.

 

Even before Thanksgiving, stores and malls are usually bustling with Christmas shoppers and Christmas music.  But this year we are not going into stores or to the mall or inside restaurants.  We are not going to Christmas concerts, Christmas caroling.  So this morning I put a Christmas album on my old fashioned stereo and sit outside on my porch, in the sun. 

 

In this peaceful moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face, listening to flocks of geese flying overhead, I think about the second candle of the advent wreath – symbolizing peace.

 

There may never be peace in the world, but I think that true peace can only come from within. I believe that peace comes from accepting who we are, and where we are, acknowledging that we are not perfect, but confident that we are using our talents and abilities as best we can to reach out and touch those around us with love.  

 

So I reach out to all of you, especially to those celebrating Chanukah today, and pray that peace will be in your lives. 

Thoughts For Beginning the Season of Christmas

 It is Advent, the beginning of the Christmas season – in a year unlike any other.  

I can’t go to mass.  I can’t seem to get into the “virtual” mass.  It’s too cold to sit down by the bay to pray and write in my journal.  

Every morning I come up here to the computer – and do nothing important. Check email.  Check the weather.  Play a few games of solitaire rationalizing that it wakes up my brain.  But nothing important.

 

Feeling so frustrated this morning.  Christmas is less than 4 weeks away.  Today is the second Sunday of Advent – I missed the first Sunday.  It will not be a normal Christmas.  Cannot go to be with family, or even have family here.  

 

So this morning I picked up the “Little Blue Book” of advent that I had saved from our church back in 2006.  The Blue Book contains readings and reflections to stimulate thoughts and prayers, and suggests you “spend six minutes a day with the Lord”.  

 

I can do that.  … and I can Write!  And maybe there will be some value in sharing the thoughts from these “six minutes” on my blog.  So this is my first entry: 

 

Today I spent my six minutes watching a video of our 8-year-old granddaughter taking part in the lighting of the Advent Wreath candle at her school.  The Advent Wreath, with 4 candles is one of the traditions in our church.  Each week, one candle is lit.  

The first candle symbolizes Hope!   So I begin this blog series – and this advent season – with prayers and hope -- for myself and my family -- and hope that the world will recover from the darkness of this Covid cloud.  

There is an old saying that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". So I pray and Hope that we will persevere through this time and soon be able to take off our masks and share smiles and hugs again.

 

A Good Idea For Everyone

In the calendar of the Catholic Church, the first 2 days of November are set aside to honor those who have died.  

 November 1st is “All Saints Day” honoring all those little-known, but very good people who lived exemplarily lives and are surely in heaven.  

 

On November 2^nd, “All Souls Day” we are encouraged to pray for the souls in purgatory – those who lead good lives but may have had some indiscretions to atone for before being worthy to enter heaven.    

 

You may not believe in purgatory.  You may not believe in – or are not sure about –  any life after death.  But whatever your beliefs, I think it is important for all of us to set aside some time to think about the people who were special in our lives but are no longer living on this earth.  

 

They may be a parent, grandparent or other family member; a friend, business partner or even someone we never met, but whose life, words and/or actions had an impact on our own lives.  

I think it's a good idea for each of us to spend a few minutes thinking about what we learned from those who went before us – and then give thanks for the fact that they were in our life.

 

Les Misérables

Confined to the house on a wet, windy, cold afternoon.  Jim is clicking through the TV channels.  And then I heard it:  “Look down, look down …” The opening song from Les Misérables!   He’d found a special presentation of the musical, and we sat all afternoon mesmerized by the show.

We had seen Les Misérables on Broadway together several times, but sitting here in our living room, my heart and soul were once again overcome with the power of the story – and I recalled the first time I saw it – before I’d met Jim.

It was 1986, about a year after my husband, Pat, had died.  My daughter was trying to set me up on a date with her friend’s bachelor uncle.  I had no interest in dating, but when he called and said he had 2 tickets for Les Misérables, he got my attention.  

He explained that it was a matinée and that he would pay for the show and provide transportation – which turned out to be a school bus hired by a group of middle school teachers – but explained he was on a tight budget and suggested we go “dutch treat” for lunch.  How could I resist.  Although I‘d spent all of my childhood and lived most of my adult years within shouting distance of New York City, I had never been to a Broadway show.

I don’t remember his name, but he was a pleasant enough person and we had a “companionable” lunch at a non-descript diner.  When we got to the theater the usher showed us to our seats and I was immediately enthralled with the ambience.  Then the lights went down and the curtain went up.  The sense of a crowded theater faded and suddenly I was alone, under the spell of the music and that powerful production. 

The visual and lyrical magnificence took my breath away!  My heart soared with every crescendo. My chest pounded with every drumbeat.  I suffered with Fantine in the pain she endured for love of her daughter.  I cried with the child Cosette wandering through the woods, and rejoiced when, as a beautiful young woman, she fell in love with Marius.  And when Jean Valjean raised his eyes and his voice singing “God on high … I prayed along with all my heart.

But nothing compares to the passion and beauty of the final scene.  To this day I can close my eyes and see that stage:  Cosette, her beautiful wedding gown cascading in long, white, rippling folds across the stage; The excitement of marriage with the hope and promise of love and new life;  And the simple beauty of Fantine welcoming Jean Valjean to the light of everlasting peace – the fulfillment of his life.  

Perhaps it was because, at that first show, my husband’s death was still so fresh in my mind, but as I experienced the intensity and passion of that final scene I was overcome with emotion.  On that one stage, in that one scene, I saw all the wonder and beauty of life and of death, and the power and beauty of love transcending both!

Fast forward 7 years to when Jim and I were married – and 27 more years of sharing our life and our love – to the strange times of today with pandemic quarantine.  The message of Les Misérables is just as powerful and still ignites my soul.   “To love another person is to see the face of God!”

Thought for Today

"Self-discipline is

when your conscience tells you to do something 

and you don’t talk back."

-W.K. Hope

Today, for me, that means adding a new post to my blog.

A week or so ago, as people began to get concerned about the Coronavirus, before we were advised not to go into stores, I was at the pharmacy picking up my prescription.  An older couple were at the counter talking to the pharmacist who seemed to be having trouble with the computer.  It was taking forever.  The line was growing behind us.  

Most people were patient, resigned to the fact that long lines were inevitable given the situation.  They stood there looking around – at the ceiling, at the floor or studying items on the shelves or in their carts.  They maintained “social distance”, and for the most part they also avoided direct eye contact, as we so often do with a group of strangers.  

At the counter the pharmacist was still busy talking to the man while his wife stood patiently next to him.  She was slightly hunched over, seemingly sad, perhaps in pain, obviously tired and concerned.  You could see the strain on her face – muscles tight, eyes hollow, brow furred.  She looked down at the long line apologetically. Embarrassment seemed to add to her discomfort.  

I wished I could go up to her and say “it’s OK.  Don’t worry.  We understand.”  But I couldn’t do that.  “Social distancing” and respect for their privacy kept us apart.  All I could do was smile at her. 

Then I saw an amazing result of that simple smile.   

Her posture relaxed and tension visibly began to drain from her face.  While tiredness and pain were still obvious, she seemed lighter.   An expression of gratefulness came into those hollow eyes – and she smiled back at me.

That stranger in the store looked at me as if I had given her a great gift.  I felt she had given a gift to me!

I will always remember that her face and that moment – a reminder of how we touch each other’s lives in so many little ways – and how important it is to make all of our interactions positive!

Thoughts for The Season of Lent

I grew up with all the Catholic traditions -- including receiving the ashes on Ash Wednesday, fasting and "giving up" a favorite food or pleasure for lent.  However, after going through 5 years of cancer and the death of my first husband, I could not do the ashes.  I didn't need to be reminded of "dust thou art to dust thou shall return", and I felt that I had done enough "giving up" for a lifetime.

Now, living in a wonderful second marriage and comfortable life, I have no excuses.  And I have a much more mature understanding of the reasons for the traditional Catholic "rules" of lent.  They are an exercise in self-discipline and reminders of the real meaning of life.

So today I share with you some guidelines for fasting during lent in the words of Pope Francis:

• Fast from hurting words - say kind words
• Fast from anger - be filled with patience
• Fast from pessimism - be filled with hope
• Fast from complaints - contemplate simplicity
• Fast from bitterness - fill your hearts with joy
• Fast from selfishness - be compassionate to others
• Fast from grudges - be reconciled
• Fast from words - and listen

GOOD SAYINGS

I have a file on my desktop simply titled "Good Sayings".  When I read, and come across a phrase, sentence or paragraph that seems to be worth remembering, I copy and paste it into that file.  Then, when I am stuck on something, or seemingly in a rut, I go back and read some of those entries.

Today it occurred to me that many are worth sharing, and may provide inspiration for some of you.  So beginning today, I will start sharing some of these thoughts.  Where possible I will note the original source, but often I do not have the name of the author.  So I apologize in advance if I have not given credit to someone.

Here are a few thoughts I found appropriate for me today.  I invite you to share your thoughts.

"Self-discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don’t talk back."

-W.K. Hope

"You are the sum total of your thoughts to present"

Mike McCue

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."

Raymond Lindquist

 "Courage does not always roar. 

Sometimes, it is the quietest voice at the end of the day saying, 
I will try again tomorrow!"