We went to a funeral today. My cousin’s daughter. She was only 50 years old. The specific, immediate cause of death not yet known, but the basic cause was alcoholism.
I talked to her parents, to her sisters, to her husband and her children, to her friends and other family members. So many of us who loved her – all grieving for a life cut short.
And the saddest part is that she was such a good person! Even as she struggled with the disease, she found ways to show her love and goodness. But the disease of alcoholism took her life – just as the disease of cancer took her cousin Amy’s life.
When someone dies of cancer, as Amy did, we talk about their “heroic battle against the disease”. But what about the victims of alcoholism? Do we recognize that people like Tracy, might have spent her whole life fighting the disease of alcoholism? Do we recognize their struggle and their pain?
Those of us who knew Tracy recognized that it was the disease that had overcome her, and as we gathered for the wake and funeral, we praised her for the times when her goodness and love were so evident.
But all too often, as a society, we see alcoholism as a human weakness instead of the dreadful disease that it really is. Too often an alcoholic’s death is seen as a personal failure and we try to cover up the details. Too often we ignore the reality – the awful reality – that their death was a casualty of a disease that is all too prevalent in our society.
For Amy’s funeral we wore pink, publicly acknowledging her personal battle against cancer and recognizing the foundations working to find cures for the disease. But today we simply wore black.
Where was the outward symbol of praise for Tracy’s struggle? Where was the banner, the outward expression of rage and frustration that such a horrible disease overcame yet another young person? Where is the symbol calling for public recognition of the disease of alcoholism and the tragic reality of it’s devastating effects?
I don’t know the answers. I don’t know how we can find a cure. I don’t know how to help those affected. All I can suggest is that when someone we know is suffering, we can offer these 4 things: Non-Judgmental Love! Patience! Forgiveness! And above all, Prayers!
May you rest in Peace, Tracy – and enjoy the reward for all of your goodness.
