The Real Meaning of "Compromise"

What do you think of when you here the word "Compromise"?

Most of the time, most of us think that to compromise means we most give up something -- give up part of what we want -- give up part of what we believe.

Actually, the word "Compromise" literally means "Combining!"  Not giving up!  Compromise means Adding!  Adding and accepting new ideas, new traditions, new ways of thinking, and combining them with our own!

We just finished watching the movie "Fools Rush In". ( a fun movie if you haven't seen it). Alex (Matthew Perry) a New York business man, falls in love with Isabel (Selma Hayek) a Mexican artist.  Two very different people with very different lives, very different families, very different faiths -- but they fell in love. and in the end they learn that by "combining" their lives, their faiths, their cultures, they gained so much more!

Of course that is idealist Hollywood, but wouldn't it be great if we could all understand the real meaning of compromise -- if we could "combine" some of the differences in the reality of our own lives with each other?

Watching the wedding the end of the movie, it reminded me of when Jim and I got married.  Our lives and cultures were not as drastically different, but there were substantial differences.  I grew up in a very traditional Catholic atmosphere and for my first wedding, to my late husband Pat, we did what was expected - and what we both wanted -a very traditional ceremony in the Catholic church where I grew up.

However Jim is a different person.  Jim grew up with a more "spiritual" sense of a creator without the "structure" of religion.  I knew that he was willing to get married wherever I wanted, but I also knew that his faith - his connection with God - came mainly form nature.  So we decided to get married outside, in front of a small chapel, on the banks of the Hudson River.

Our wedding was a "compromise" in the richest sense of the word! We included the values and faith and many of the traditions of the Catholic Church, (with a priest and minister presiding at the ceremony), and we added the wonders and experience of nature!   Our "compromise" was a beautiful combination of the best of both of us!

And now I think of the world today, the news we hear every night.  Our government - our two political parties - refusing to compromise.  Not only can't they compromise on important ideas, they can't seem to compromise on even the simplest issues.

"Ego" - that loud voice in your head that says your own way of thinking is the best - can be a source of pride and self confidence and is frequently the reason people run for office.  However big "Egos" are the enemy of compromise.

But wouldn't it be great if the huge Egos that run our government today could somehow understand that by "compromising" - combining their ideas and strategies and goals - they might actually get something done?  If only they could understand that compromise would not only make a better country, but would actually add a reason for their pride, and add substance to their personal Ego!

And wouldn't it be great if somehow we could all understand the real meaning of "compromise" and apply it in our own lives?

I know ... you're thinking I'm just a  "Pollyanna" - I'm a hopeless "idealist".
But really, I'm just seeing the glass half full and trying to fill it up.  And I can hope.  And I can pray.

And I can write!


  

How do you see your glass?

(note - I found these quotes in my notes from many years ago – long before I’d started this blog. I am as moved by them today as I was back then -- and decided they would be worth sharing with you.   Authors unknown.)

There are 3 kinds of people:  

First - the “glass-is-half-empty” person who is usually negative, often depressed, sometimes bitter – the kind of person we try to avoid.

Second - the “glass-is-half-full” person who is usually happy, positive, content – the kind of person we enjoy being with.

Then there are the few people who see that the glass is only half full and ask “why?” 

and “what can we do about it?” – the kind of person who gets busy finding ways to fill it up.

These are the people who change the world! 

So stop asking if the glass is half full or half empty.  Instead, ask  "What's in it?"  "How did it get there?"   "What can I do with it?"  -- and you'll dscover all the little ways you can change the world!