Story of the Seasons

Note - I posted this story a couple of years ago, but thought, at this time of the year, it would be worth another look and laugh.  Hope you enjoy it. 

GOD to ST. FRANCIS:   What’s going on down there on Earth?   What happened to the dandelions, violets and other beautiful wildflowers I created?   I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden with wildflowers that grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. And the nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  

 

ST. FRANCIS:   Well Lord, all these homeowners decided they wanted grass lawns and they are very proud of them! They begin each spring by seeding, watering and fertilizing -- and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

 

GOD:  It takes a lot of moisture to grow the grass and keep it green. I guess them must be happy that I send the spring rains and warm weather to make the grass grow fast.  

 

ST. FRANCIS:  Apparently not, Lord. because as soon as it grows a little, they cut it -- sometimes twice a week.  Then they rake it up and put it in bags and pay to throw it away.

 

GOD:  So then they are relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat?  Surely that slows the growth and saves them a lot of work and money.

 

ST. FRANCIS: You won't believe this, but when the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water the lawns so they can continue to mow it -- and pay to get rid of it.

 

GOD:  I’ll never understand these humans.  At least they kept some of the trees I created.  They must appreciate that the leaves, which provide beauty and shade in the summer, then fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to protect the trees and bushes and form compost to keep moisture in to enhance the soil. 

 

ST. FRANCIS: I hate to tell you this Lord, but as soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

 

GOD: No!  What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

 

ST. FRANCIS: They go out and buy mulch, haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

 

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

 

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up.

 

GOD: Enough!  I don't want to think about this anymore.  Let’s talk about something else.

 What movie is playing tonight?

 

ST. FRANCIS:  It’s called "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....

 

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story!

(author unknown)

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