A Good Idea For Everyone

In the calendar of the Catholic Church, the first 2 days of November are set aside to honor those who have died.  

 November 1st is “All Saints Day” honoring all those little-known, but very good people who lived exemplarily lives and are surely in heaven.  

 

On November 2^nd, “All Souls Day” we are encouraged to pray for the souls in purgatory – those who lead good lives but may have had some indiscretions to atone for before being worthy to enter heaven.    

 

You may not believe in purgatory.  You may not believe in – or are not sure about –  any life after death.  But whatever your beliefs, I think it is important for all of us to set aside some time to think about the people who were special in our lives but are no longer living on this earth.  

 

They may be a parent, grandparent or other family member; a friend, business partner or even someone we never met, but whose life, words and/or actions had an impact on our own lives.  

I think it's a good idea for each of us to spend a few minutes thinking about what we learned from those who went before us – and then give thanks for the fact that they were in our life.

 

Les Misérables

Confined to the house on a wet, windy, cold afternoon.  Jim is clicking through the TV channels.  And then I heard it:  “Look down, look down …” The opening song from Les Misérables!   He’d found a special presentation of the musical, and we sat all afternoon mesmerized by the show.

We had seen Les Misérables on Broadway together several times, but sitting here in our living room, my heart and soul were once again overcome with the power of the story – and I recalled the first time I saw it – before I’d met Jim.

It was 1986, about a year after my husband, Pat, had died.  My daughter was trying to set me up on a date with her friend’s bachelor uncle.  I had no interest in dating, but when he called and said he had 2 tickets for Les Misérables, he got my attention.  

He explained that it was a matinée and that he would pay for the show and provide transportation – which turned out to be a school bus hired by a group of middle school teachers – but explained he was on a tight budget and suggested we go “dutch treat” for lunch.  How could I resist.  Although I‘d spent all of my childhood and lived most of my adult years within shouting distance of New York City, I had never been to a Broadway show.

I don’t remember his name, but he was a pleasant enough person and we had a “companionable” lunch at a non-descript diner.  When we got to the theater the usher showed us to our seats and I was immediately enthralled with the ambience.  Then the lights went down and the curtain went up.  The sense of a crowded theater faded and suddenly I was alone, under the spell of the music and that powerful production. 

The visual and lyrical magnificence took my breath away!  My heart soared with every crescendo. My chest pounded with every drumbeat.  I suffered with Fantine in the pain she endured for love of her daughter.  I cried with the child Cosette wandering through the woods, and rejoiced when, as a beautiful young woman, she fell in love with Marius.  And when Jean Valjean raised his eyes and his voice singing “God on high … I prayed along with all my heart.

But nothing compares to the passion and beauty of the final scene.  To this day I can close my eyes and see that stage:  Cosette, her beautiful wedding gown cascading in long, white, rippling folds across the stage; The excitement of marriage with the hope and promise of love and new life;  And the simple beauty of Fantine welcoming Jean Valjean to the light of everlasting peace – the fulfillment of his life.  

Perhaps it was because, at that first show, my husband’s death was still so fresh in my mind, but as I experienced the intensity and passion of that final scene I was overcome with emotion.  On that one stage, in that one scene, I saw all the wonder and beauty of life and of death, and the power and beauty of love transcending both!

Fast forward 7 years to when Jim and I were married – and 27 more years of sharing our life and our love – to the strange times of today with pandemic quarantine.  The message of Les Misérables is just as powerful and still ignites my soul.   “To love another person is to see the face of God!”

Thought for Today

"Self-discipline is

when your conscience tells you to do something 

and you don’t talk back."

-W.K. Hope

Today, for me, that means adding a new post to my blog.

A week or so ago, as people began to get concerned about the Coronavirus, before we were advised not to go into stores, I was at the pharmacy picking up my prescription.  An older couple were at the counter talking to the pharmacist who seemed to be having trouble with the computer.  It was taking forever.  The line was growing behind us.  

Most people were patient, resigned to the fact that long lines were inevitable given the situation.  They stood there looking around – at the ceiling, at the floor or studying items on the shelves or in their carts.  They maintained “social distance”, and for the most part they also avoided direct eye contact, as we so often do with a group of strangers.  

At the counter the pharmacist was still busy talking to the man while his wife stood patiently next to him.  She was slightly hunched over, seemingly sad, perhaps in pain, obviously tired and concerned.  You could see the strain on her face – muscles tight, eyes hollow, brow furred.  She looked down at the long line apologetically. Embarrassment seemed to add to her discomfort.  

I wished I could go up to her and say “it’s OK.  Don’t worry.  We understand.”  But I couldn’t do that.  “Social distancing” and respect for their privacy kept us apart.  All I could do was smile at her. 

Then I saw an amazing result of that simple smile.   

Her posture relaxed and tension visibly began to drain from her face.  While tiredness and pain were still obvious, she seemed lighter.   An expression of gratefulness came into those hollow eyes – and she smiled back at me.

That stranger in the store looked at me as if I had given her a great gift.  I felt she had given a gift to me!

I will always remember that her face and that moment – a reminder of how we touch each other’s lives in so many little ways – and how important it is to make all of our interactions positive!

Thoughts for The Season of Lent

I grew up with all the Catholic traditions -- including receiving the ashes on Ash Wednesday, fasting and "giving up" a favorite food or pleasure for lent.  However, after going through 5 years of cancer and the death of my first husband, I could not do the ashes.  I didn't need to be reminded of "dust thou art to dust thou shall return", and I felt that I had done enough "giving up" for a lifetime.

Now, living in a wonderful second marriage and comfortable life, I have no excuses.  And I have a much more mature understanding of the reasons for the traditional Catholic "rules" of lent.  They are an exercise in self-discipline and reminders of the real meaning of life.

So today I share with you some guidelines for fasting during lent in the words of Pope Francis:

• Fast from hurting words - say kind words
• Fast from anger - be filled with patience
• Fast from pessimism - be filled with hope
• Fast from complaints - contemplate simplicity
• Fast from bitterness - fill your hearts with joy
• Fast from selfishness - be compassionate to others
• Fast from grudges - be reconciled
• Fast from words - and listen

GOOD SAYINGS

I have a file on my desktop simply titled "Good Sayings".  When I read, and come across a phrase, sentence or paragraph that seems to be worth remembering, I copy and paste it into that file.  Then, when I am stuck on something, or seemingly in a rut, I go back and read some of those entries.

Today it occurred to me that many are worth sharing, and may provide inspiration for some of you.  So beginning today, I will start sharing some of these thoughts.  Where possible I will note the original source, but often I do not have the name of the author.  So I apologize in advance if I have not given credit to someone.

Here are a few thoughts I found appropriate for me today.  I invite you to share your thoughts.

"Self-discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don’t talk back."

-W.K. Hope

"You are the sum total of your thoughts to present"

Mike McCue

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar."

Raymond Lindquist

 "Courage does not always roar. 

Sometimes, it is the quietest voice at the end of the day saying, 
I will try again tomorrow!"

A Christmas Message

The Little Drummer Boy 

We were watching one of those always predictable Hallmark holiday movies the other day, and the main characters were expressing frustration with some of the Christmas traditions – especially the Little Drummer Boy song.  They laughed at the repetitive drum-drumming and one of them asked “What’s that song about anyway?”  “Who knows” the other person responded.

Well I say, if you don’t know what that song is about, you don’t understand what Christmas is about!   

To me The Little Drummer Boy Song is the essence of the story of Christmas.  Just try humming along with the song and think about these words:

“Come, they told me … the newborn king to see.”  

Look!  The infinite God has taken on our humanity. The baby in the manger is the king who has come to save the world. 

“Our precious gifts we bring”

            The world encourages great ceremony and expensive gifts for a king.

“I am a poor boy too … 

But we relate to the humbleness of Jesus’ birth. 

“I have no gifts … fit to give a king”

How often do we question our own worth – our own ability to give or do anything consequential enough to please God or have any effect on the world.

“Shall I play for you”

We just need to use our own individual talents and abilities.

“Mary nodded … the ox and lamb kept time”

Even with the most humble of talents we can make the world a happier and better place!

“I played my Best for him … then he smiled at me”

Like our parents tried to teach us so long ago, all God really asks is that we do our best. 

My hope and prayer is that this year, when we hear those “rum a tum tums”, we will think about how we can save a little part of this world.

Wishing you a Very Merry Christmas and a Joyful and Dynamic New Year!

Want Ad

In the probably futile effort to clean up my office, I’ve been going through some old papers and found a piece I wrote back in the 70's, and thought it would be fun to share it with you now.  

After months of frustration, listening to extreme feminists put down the idea of a housewife, and the extreme conservative women over-glamorizing the joys of wiping runny noses and spreading peanut butter and jelly, I wondered how a help wanted ad for a housewife might read.  If it were and honest job description I think it would have to read something like this:

Help Wanted – Woman with energy, enthusiasm and imagination.  An excellent opportunity for someone who likes to meet a challenge.  

This is a managerial position.  The person hired will be responsible for a smooth-running organization.  With her partner she must visualize the overall direction of the organization and maintain smooth, steady control in the face of numerous daily interruptions.  She must have a positive outlook and idealistic nature, being able to strive continually for a sometimes elusive goal.

The ability to handle difficult people at their most difficult times is essential.  She will be responsible for happiness and harmony within the organization while actively directing the discipline and training of junior members.  

The person in this position is also responsible for external public relations.  She must maintain good will among friends despite potentially explosive situations and disagreements, and she must handle suppliers and creditors with finesse, knowing when to be firm and when to be soft.

This job requires someone who is a self-starter, able to initiate and carry through her own ideas and projects.  She must be able to make decisions and accept responsibility for them.

Other desirable qualities include the ability to follow detailed instructions, give and take orders, keep schedules, meet deadlines and work on many projects at once.  This is no place for a woman who can only go in one direction at a time.  

Perhaps the most important attributes she must have are patience and a sense of humor in the face of impossible people and situations.  

Satisfaction in this job will not come from praise, promotions or raises.  The woman who will be happy in this position is one who is convinced of her own importance, the importance of the job, and who truly loves the people she is working with.